May 2011
“My absolute favourite piece of information is the fact that young sloths are so inept that they frequently grab their own arms and legs instead of tree limbs, and fall out of trees.”
—Douglas Adams (via nowtranscendtheskies)
Play
uncle danny is a weirdo
- Looking for someone to chat with... (so, please wait)
- You are now chatting with a person, say hi.
- ▲: hullo
- ▼: i will take you under my wing
- ▲: oh wow
- ▲: please do
- ▼: alright, but there is a process you must go through to be accepted under the cozy shelter of my wing
- ▲: ohohoho
- ▲: tell me
- ▼: first, you must agree to be completely subordinate
- ▼: next step, you cannot tell your parents
- ▲: you sound like my uncle
- ▼: third step, you cannot tell anyone
- ▼: NON ONO NONO i swear i'm not
- ▲: ...uncle jeff?
- ▲: you sure?
- ▼: no i'm not him
- ▼: i promise
- ▼: anyway last step is put on this apron
- ▼: only this apron
- ▲: hmmm
- ▲: yeah, you're definitely not uncle jeff
- ▲: you're uncle danny.
- ▼: i'm not even
- ▼: i swear to you, my child, i am not your uncle
- ▲: you should meet uncle danny, you guys like the same stuff
- ▼: no please let's just get on with this
- ▼: will you agree to all of those steps?
- ▼: will you
- ▼: commit them?
- ▲: sure thing, uncle danny!
- ▼: shut the fuck up and drop the "you're my uncle" act
- ▼: you promised to be subordinate
- ▲: ):
- ▼: so i tell you what to do
- ▲: sorry uncle danny
- ▼: no
- ▲: x:
- ▲: oops
- ▼: it can't work out like this
- ▼: i'm not your uncle
- ▼: i'm not into incest
- ▼: that's not my thing
- ▲: OH
- ▲: definitely not any of my uncles then.
- ▼: thank you for finally listening
- ▼: put on the apron, please
- ▲: sure thing
- ▼: alright, and you promise not to tell anyone?
- ▲: of course
- ▲: family secret ;)
- ▼: this is not a motherfucking family secret
- ▼: you will literally tell no one, this is something which only us two know about
- ▲: right
- ▼: alright
- ▼: then you have been accepted into the honorable position under my wing
- ▲: hooray!
- ▼: you may breathe rainbows into my ears and whisper stories to fuel my flights
- ▲: o:
- ▼: tell me a story
- ▲: i'm no good at stories uncle danny, you know that
- ▼: ...
- ▲: oh hamburgers
- ▼: i will hurt you
- ▲: definitely uncle danny.
